Darkwing Duck: The Webfoot Chronicles I

My Kingdom For A Double-Plait Bolt!

By Rebecca Littlehales

Act III

"Boy, you really gave me some chase! Where were you all night?" exclaimed Megavolt to Beth as he stumbled into the house, exhausted.

"Um... At home, in bed?" asked Beth, utterly perplexed and not sure why she was telling Megavolt this.

"What?! Is this some sort of trap?" yelled Drake.

"No, no-- I have no idea who he is! What's going on?" said Beth, confusion not only setting in but actually taking control of her mind.

"Okay, look, I don't have all day. Where is it?" said Megavolt as he walked up to her.

"Where's what?" said Beth.

"You know perfectly well what!" he said, putting down his hand as a balance on the coffee table. "YOW!" he yelled, pulling his hand back in a flash. "Oh... Heh heh... Here it is," he said, picking up the bolt that he had just smashed his hand into. "At last, the final component to my plan! Things will all fall into place now!"

"Hey, hey, wait a minute! You're that guy who stole all the 4 1/4 bolts!" said Beth, finally recognizing him.

"I am? Oh, yeah, I mean, of course I am! Boy, are you slow! Well, it's been fun, but I must be going now! See you when I've taken over the city!" he said, heading for the door.

Drake ran after him. "Oh, no you don't, Megavolt! Your dastardly schemes won't be fulfilled as long as I'm here to stop you!" Megavolt stopped, his fist clenching.

"What do you do, take diction lessons from that duck ?!" he said, whirling around, just the thought of Darkwing being enough to raise his hackles and goad him into a near-frenzy.

Seeing that Drake was in danger of being electrocuted, Gosalyn's only thought was to distract Megavolt from her father. She did this by diving at his legs and throwing him to the ground. Unfortunately, she didn't think things through far enough to really be able to figure out what to do next. Megavolt recovered, and picked her up by the back of her shirt as he got up off the floor.

"You won't be able to get away with this, you nutcase! Darkwing Duck will put a stop to your plans!" she shouted as she hung in the air, taking swings at him and just missing.

"Hey... Haven't we met somewhere, little girl?" he said, looking at her closely.

"Well... there was that time that Darkwing Duck's good and bad sides split apart because of that Tron Splitter thingie; and then there was the time that you and Quackerjack went into the future in the Time Top, and I got brought along, and it was up to me to get us back to the present; and of course, the time that you and Darkwing teamed up to defeat the three evil energy-freaks that came from different parts of my brain...," said Gosalyn, ticking off each occasion on her fingers.

As Gosalyn described her past meetings with Megavolt, Drake worried. "Launchpad, your friend is real fly in the ointment!" he whispered fiercely. "I can't find a way to leave the room and get into costume with her here. Maybe we'll get lucky and Megavolt will electrocute her..."

"Hey! She doesn't deserve to be electrocuted!" said Launchpad defensively.

Meanwhile, an idea was forming in Megavolt's overactive brain. "So, then... you know Darkwing Duck?" he asked Gosalyn.

"Do I! He's a close personal friend, so you better let me go right now or else he'll track you down and--"

"A close personal friend, huh? Well !" he said, turning to Drake. "You just tell good old Dripwing Duck that I have his Close Personal Friend, and if he ever wants to see her again, he'll meet me on that building we were on last night, alone at midnight exactly! No sooner, or she's toast! Arrivederci!" he shouted, and ran off with Gosalyn in tow.

"Oh, my gosh, Drake-- he took your daughter!" exclaimed Beth, miraculously overstating the obvious.

Drake looked at her. "I think it's really time you left now," he said coldly.

"Okay," she said, backing towards the door. "I'm really, really sorry. Extremely sorry. Oh, words can't express how sorry I am," she said as she swallowed nervously. Drake slowly advanced on her.

"Get out," he said through clenched teeth.

"Yes, okay, I'm out, see?" she said, stepping out of the door, still walking backwards. "I guess this means I shouldn't come over tonight to babys--" She was cut off as he slammed the door on her.

"Launchpad, I'm going to need some quiet for the next few hours. I have to come up with a plan, and if you have anything to say about it, you can go join your girlfriend outside. Understood?"

Launchpad nodded. When Drake was in this mood, the best thing to do was not to say anything at all unless he asked you to. He wondered silently if he'd ever see Beth again-- or Gosalyn, for that matter.

That night, up on the rooftop...

Gosalyn was tied to a chair, but was yelling threats at Megavolt practically nonstop. This was making it extremely hard for him to count the bolts in his wire-chain, and so even though he'd come up with two-hundred and ten this time, he thought it best to recount them.

"Will you shut up?!" he yelled at the girl. Why he hadn't bothered to gag her, he didn't know.

"Yeah, right! Does this bother you, Megavolt? Oh, I'm so sorry! Here, let me apologize as much as I can!" she shouted at him, wriggling around in her chair.

"Hey, just be quiet for five minutes, and let me count the bolts, okay? It won't take that long!" he said. He'd realized a short while ago that he'd made a slight mistake in kidnapping this girl. He'd remembered her after a little while. She was loud, and annoying, and... spirited. Bad, very bad.

"Again?!? You've counted them three times already! I think you've gotten it accurate by now!" she said.

"Okay... I'll strike up a deal with you. I won't count the bolts again, if you'll GIVE ME SOME PEACE AND QUIET SO I CAN HEAR MYSELF THINK!!!!"

She sighed, unwavered by his screaming. "Fine." she said, rolling her eyes. She actually was sort of relieved- she was starting to get tired, but she'd never admit it to Megavolt. There was silence between them for once.

"Hey, put your finger right here," said Megavolt suddenly, pointing to a little metal plate on the chain.

"Uh... no, thanks," said Gosalyn, eyeing it suspiciously.

"Well it wouldn't do anything bad," he said. "Just send several thousand volts through your body, while simultaneously sapping you of your own personal electricity." He paused momentarily to consider the effect that might have. "...Actually, come to think of it, I guess that is pretty bad..."

"But why?" she asked.

"Why is it bad? Because you could get hurt! And I thought you were kind of bright... heh, you'd be really bright if you'd touch the plate... Get it? Electricity, bright...," he started to chuckle a little.

"No, no, no, I mean why should I touch it?"

"Because I want you to!" he said, like it was the answer to everyone's problems. "Come on, I need a test subject! Please?"

She continued to refuse him. "Why don't you try it out on yourself?" she asked.

"That wouldn't work! My personal polarity is different from that of normal people's! See?" he said, placing his finger onto the plate, and promptly going into a huge and violent electrical backlash. "Well I'll be--! Wonder why that happened?" he said as the smoke cleared. He started tinkering with it to figure out the problem. "Oh, I see-- I had it hooked up to negative to positive instead of positive to negative! There we go!

"I suppose," he continued, having regained his 'composure', "that you are wondering what all this is supposed to accomplish?"

"Not really..."

"Well, I'm in the mood to gloat, so listen! With this hookup, I'll be able to absorb all the electricity in the city- including that of people! I'll be so powerful- I'll be like a god! And then I'll kick all the people out of the city, and give it over to the lightbulbs! My first conquest will be that do-gooder, Darkwing Duck!" Megavolt's focus drifted away from Gosalyn as he began to think of what it would be like to get his hooks on Darkwing. "Boy, will it ever be satisfying to finally see him floundering like a fish out of water... Twisting as the electricity hits him like a Mack truck... Hee hee hee... Roast duck, anyone?" he began laughing maniacally, leaving Gosalyn to worry.

"Aw... It's eleven fifty-nine! Where is he?" said Megavolt as he stood on the edge of the roof. "Don't you mean beans to him?" he said, returning to Gosalyn. He noticed that she was holding her hand tightly behind her back, but nothing looked out of place... and besides, there was no way she could do anything even if she did have her hand free.

Suddenly, a series of small beeps went off from the alarm clock that Megavolt had brought with him, chiming twelve o'clock. Megavolt looked behind him; where a moment ago, there had been nothing, now Darkwing Duck stood enveloped in shadow. His cape billowed out behind him in the breeze as he regarded his nemesis coldly and said, "Where is she? Prove that she's all right."

"Well? He's waiting!" said Megavolt to Gosalyn, stepping to the right to reveal her to Darkwing.

"Darkwing! I'm okay! Don't come any closer!" she shouted urgently, trying to warn him.

"I'll let her go if you give yourself up!" said Megavolt shrewdly.

Darkwing sighed heavily, but didn't even pause to weigh his options before nodding in agreement. "Don't, Darkwing! It's a trap!" shouted Gosalyn as Darkwing approached Megavolt.

"I know," he sighed, looking at her somewhat sadly.

"Quiet, you," said Megavolt. As agreed, he released her from her bonds, but she stood steadfast where she was, refusing to leave.

"Get going! What's your problem?" said Megavolt.

"No! I'm not going anywhere!" she said angrily.

"Gosalyn... listen to me. You have to go. Don't you know that it would kill your father if anything ever happened to you? You're the most important thing in his life," said Darkwing solemnly. "Things'll work out. Have faith."

Tears came to her eyes as she realized she couldn't even hug him without giving something away. Megavolt stood behind them impatiently. "Okay," she said. Just as she turned to leave, she saw Darkwing give her a little wink. He's got something up his sleeve, she thought. Hope came to her in a sudden surge. Remembering Megavolt's plan, she crossed her fingers and hoped that things worked the way they were supposed to.

"Now, Darkwing-- we've always had our little... differences, but after all, we're both men of science, right? All I'm trying to do here is conduct a little experiment! Yeah, so maybe I did steal the bolts instead of buying them! Is that a crime? Wait, disregard that last part. Old habits are hard to break, don't you understand that? I bet you still bite your fingernails from time to time...," said Megavolt in a reasonable tone, pacing back and forth in front of Darkwing.

"Biting my nails is nothing compared to robbing banks, Megavolt!" said Darkwing, and then realized what his arch-nemesis had just said. "Wait-- how'd you know I used to bite my fingernails?"

"Aw, you did it all the time in high school," said Megavolt casually.

Darkwing broke out in a sweat. Ever since discovering that Megavolt was once known as Elmo Sputterspark, the nerd at Drake Mallard's old high school, he had prayed that Megavolt would be scramble-brained enough to forget the information of Darkwing's secret identity. But now it seemed that the memory had resurfaced. Thrown off-guard, Darkwing stuttered, "H-how do you remember that?"

"Remember what?" said Megavolt, his face maintaining the same vague expression as before while the possibly useful information bypassed his permanent memory banks completely and circled back to the Monster-Crusher Car Show that was his brain. "Distractions won't get you anywhere, Darkwing, old pal! I'm not trying to hurt you," he lied. "I just wanted a chance to talk to you straight! I'm really not a violent person. See, I need someone to act as a test subject for this little experiment of mine. I could have used your Personal Friend, but I thought you'd be a much better choice. All you have to do is just put your finger on this little metal pad, and I'll record your reaction! Then you're free to go! Deal?"

Okay... risk life and limb by doing what he wants, or risk life and limb by NOT doing what he wants... What choice do I have, really? thought Darkwing, and agreed to the "experiment".

He reached out slowly and placed his finger on the plate-- nothing happened.

"What the-- you should be nothing but a smoking pile of ashes now!" cried Megavolt, shoving Darkwing out of the way and putting his own finger on the plate. As before, he went through a complex and painful looking reaction to the electricity. "D'OHHHHH-- That kid must have rigged it negative to positive! I'll get her for this!" he said as he collapsed. "Hey-- my sinuses are clear!"

What now? thought Darkwing, watching his enemy lie on the ground, recovering. He considered flipping Megavolt with a Nostril Twist to knock him out all the way, but then thought the better of it after realizing that Megavolt was still streaming with electrical activity and was possibly acting as a conductor. Not to mention that he had said that his sinuses had cleared, so who knew what else was streaming around here. Of course, he thought, the gas gun! Fortunately, as he withdrew it he remembered the severe limitations on the instrument for the moment. Looking around, he noticed the chain of bolts and recognized them as 4 1/4 double-plait bolts, and in a lightening move grabbed one and stuck it in the according place.

Raising the gun menacingly, he shouted, "SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!" Megavolt, who was just raising himself up, groaned and collapsed again as he was surrounded by a cloud of bluish-gray gas.


Refusing to give up, though, Megavolt once again tried to elevate himself, this time charging himself up as much as he could. In his current weakened state, there wasn't much he could do for himself, but he tried. Recognizing the danger, Darkwing decided to deliver the coup de grace and execute the Belly Bounce. But of course, the only time he ever had been able to do it was by accident, and so he still couldn't get it quite right and ended up merely knocking both of them over.

"Ah-hah!" shouted Megavolt, gaining the upper hand, and he gave Darkwing a minor shock as he pinned him to the ground.

"Ah-hah!" yelled Darkwing, recovering and flipping Megavolt over so that he was pinned. This had no effect on Megavolt's frame of mind, and he was still able to get in a good couple of electric shocks again. The two tussled, rolling around on the ground and raising a combination of dust and smoke caused by the electricity. Eventually, the smoke cleared and Darkwing stood triumphant! (Yep, yep, yep... Was there ever a doubt?

The next night, at the hardware store...

Darkwing Duck was on the 7:00 news. They were trying to give an account of the events of the previous evening, and if Beth had been there, she would have known that the facts they were reporting were grossly inaccurate. "In a daring rescue, Darkwing Duck defeated Megavolt and rescued defenseless youngster Gosalyn Mallard last night..."

"Pffff-- defenseless... Yeah, right," said Beth to herself. Even if she hadn't been there, she still knew that there was no way Gosalyn was "defenseless".

"No, I wasn't talking to you," she said into the phone, and paused, scowling. "Henny, I can't cover for you tonight. I can't work late tonight... I have a job. I know. It's a new job, it-- Henny! No, I don't have a date with Launchpad. ...He's the one with the red hair that you thought was cute. Yes, I'm on a first name basis with him, he's my friend, what do you exp-- I'm not dating him! No, it's not a date with Drake either! ...I mean, Mr. Mallard." She paused again, rolling her eyes. This was a side of herself that she was deeply ashamed of, and couldn't stand to show to anyone. She saw the fact that she ever was impatient with anyone as an awful character trait for herself.

"I can't stay to close the store tonight, I have to go right now! Well, maybe you should try putting in an honest day's work if you want to legitimately earn 'Employee of the Month'....No, Henny, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'll cover for you later, okay? Yeah. But I really have to go. What? I-- what? I can't make out a word you're saying! This static is terrible! I have to be going, I have to babysit! Bye!" She hung up and, humming, grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

As she walked, vaguely happy and vaguely worried, a small vine grew up unnoticed out of a sewer grate.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Next: A little love story (sorta...)

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