Darkwing Duck: The Webfoot Chronicles I
My Kingdom For A Double-Plait Bolt!
By Rebecca Littlehales
Act II
That night, Darkwing began his search for Megavolt. "Wait here," he instructed Launchpad, outside a large building, "and when I give the signal from the roof, you come up and ambush Megavolt."
"Right-o, DW!" said Launchpad cheerfully, giving him a thumbs-up sign. Darkwing returned it and set off to the roof of the building. Launchpad, meanwhile, stood outside the building keeping an eye on the roof. It was obvious that Darkwing hadn't been mistaken in his deduction that Megavolt
was here-- electricity, sometimes involving large sparks almost the size of lightening bolts, permeated the air.
Inside the building, Darkwing discovered that all the power had been drained. The interior was dark, except for a few generator-powered lights, and that wasn't the only problem.
"Naturally," said Darkwing, sighing. "The elevator's out." With that, he set off on a sixteen-story trek up the stairs.
Meanwhile, up on the roof...
"Two-hundred and seven, two-hundred and eight, two-hundred and nine... *gasp!*" gasped Megavolt, looking over the odd, flimsy-looking chain of wire and metal bolts before him. "What?!?!?!? Only two- hundred and nine?!?
I must have miscounted somewhere!" He groaned a little at the prospect of counting the whole thing all over again, especially because this would be the third time in this half- hour, including the time he was midway through when a big pigeon came along and sat on his head. Megavolt wasn't sure what lured the bird to his head, but the darned thing refused to fly away. Let's just say there was now one less pigeon in the world, which Megavolt figured was no great loss.
Suddenly, the door to the roof was flung open from the inside. Darkwing, panting a little, whipped out his gas gun and shouted, "SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!"
Of course, the gun still wasn't fixed, and it misfired. "Oh, yeah... I keep forgetting about that..." said Darkwing as the gas once more enveloped him. A pox upon that girl at the hardware store! he thought, unable to speak because of the coughing fit that now came upon him.
Megavolt, on the other hand, was more than able to speak (although thinking clearly might have been asking a little much). "Well, well, well," he said, advancing on Darkwing as he choked in the bluish cloud, "if it isn't the main guest at the barbeque!" Little sparks began to shoot out of Megavolt's pores as he charged himself up.
Meanwhile, at roughly the same time that Darkwing began climbing the stairs to the roof of the building, Beth was just finishing up counting out the money needed to pay off the "debt." She counted out the last fifty cents in pennies- after all, you needed to have the right amount of change- and then sighed and closed up the shop.
As she walked out the door, she noticed that the air was unusually charged that night- her hair seemed to be close to standing on end because of all the static in the air. "Was that lightening?" she asked herself, noting a burst of something electrical out of the corner of her eye. When she was a little more than a third of the way home, she reached the building upon which Darkwing and Megavolt were having their little showdown. Launchpad was standing outside the building, and Beth recognized him and decided to go up and say hello.
"Hi," she said, coming up behind him. His face had been upturned, towards the roof of the building, and at the sound of her voice he jumped.
"Oh, hi," he said, turning around and smiling at her nervously. "Soooo... How've you been?" he asked.
"Oh, fine... And you?" she said. He nodded and shrugged, still nervous. "So, where's Mr. Mallard?"
"He had to... go to the grocery store," said Launchpad.
"Well, is he going to come back? I mean, any time soon?" she said eagerly.
"I don't know for sure."
"So, what did he say when you guys left the store? Did he mention me at all?" said Beth, getting more and more excited by the second. Launchpad sighed, his hopes of becoming the object of her affections getting
lower by the second.
Meanwhile, back on the roof, Darkwing recovered quickly from the gas. He had long ago developed a tolerance and the right breathing techniques to overcome such things as knockout gas, and this gave him a great advantage over the common criminal. He executed a flying kick at Megavolt, spouting an intimidating quack-fu phrase as he went.
Behind them, their shadows loomed, battling each other violently. Sparks were flying off of Megavolt and filling the air, providing plenty of light and adding to the dramatic ambiance. The two tussling titans continuously traded comments such as "Take that!" "Had enough yet?" and the ever-popular "YEARRRGH!!!"
At this point, it was unclear as to who was winning. The shouts continued to be heard dimly, even under Beth and Launchpad's conversation.
"You know, I feel terrible for not having the bolt he needed. Were you guys able to find one anywhere else?" she asked.
"No, it's kinda funny. See, apparently the only hardware store in the area that carries them now is Bindler's!" said Launchpad.
"Hm. Oh, wait, now I remember- They've stopped making 4 1/4 double-plait bolts because they keep slipping out of things. But the makers had a bunch of surplus ones or something, and Henny was able to make this deal with them that we would get them until they ran out. I'm not sure how she negotiated it... Actually, knowing Henny, I don't think I want to know. But anyways, what I could do, see, is put in a special order for the bolt and I'll get it in a couple of days, on Monday or Tuesday. When I get off work that night I could just come by and hand-deliver it," she explained. For the first time in her life, she felt totally at ease talking to someone. She figured it was because he was Drake Mallard's friend- just the fact that he was close to Drake must put her nerves to rest.
In the background, Darkwing began signaling to Launchpad by discreetly leaning his arm over the side of the building and waving his hand four times. True, it was slightly obtuse for someone as slow as Launchpad, but they had worked it out prior to the plan going into effect, and it should have worked. It would have worked, in fact, if only Launchpad had been looking at the building instead of Beth.
"That'd be great!" said Launchpad to Beth, delighted at the prospect of seeing her again. "Oh... Wait a minute. What time?"
"Well, I get off at around 8:30--" she began.
"Oh, that's no good. Drake and I are out every night starting at around 7:30." He thought hard. "What time do you go to work?"
"Usually at about 9:00 a.m., and the store opens at 9:30 a.m."
"Well, you could come in before you go to open the store," he suggested, not considering that Drake really liked to sleep late.
"That's great! Just give me your address..." she said, taking out a little piece of paper and a pen.
Behind them, Darkwing continued to signal. He had passed four hand waves quite some time ago, and actually right now it was more like he was just shaking his arm. Megavolt pulled him backwards, and there were a few zapping sounds.
"...Okay, great! I'll put in the order tomorrow and be by in a couple of days!" said Beth, putting the beloved slip of paper into her pocket and walking off, looking over her shoulder and waving.
"Bye," said Launchpad. Naturally a chipper person, his old cheery disposition had returned and he was eagerly looking forward to having her come over. He casually turned back towards the building and something flared in his mind... Something he was supposed to be doing. Something important.
He looked up at the roof quickly, just as Darkwing made one last desperate attempt at a signal-- leaning so far over the side of the roof he looked like he was about to fall over, he hollered "LAUNCHPAAAAAAAAAD!!" at the top of his lungs. Promptly, he was once again pulled back by Megavolt.
"Uh-oh," said Launchpad, and darted to the building's stairs. He made it up onto the roof just in time to see Megavolt, looking slightly frayed around the edges-- although that was normal-- heaving a big bag over his shoulder and preparing to jump off the edge of the roof.
Darkwing, on the other hand, was looking more than slightly frayed-- actually, he was closer to fried-- around the edges, and was lying on the ground.
"Next time, Duck!" said Megavolt, giggling madly, and he stepped off the edge. "Oh, yeah-- I was up real high," he said as he plummeted sixteen stories straight down. As Launchpad tended to Darkwing, a long, continuous scream began. It ended abruptly at the sound of a heavy thud, and then a low moan floated up.
"Well, niiiiice job, LP! What were you doing down there, getting a kitten out of a tree?! Or maybe you went to get some coffee!" said Darkwing angrily as Launchpad wiped soot off of his jacket for him.
"Gee, I'm sorry, DW! I was talking to Beth!" said Launchpad, helping Darkwing up.
"Beth?! Who the heck is Beth?" said Darkwing. He paused a little and arched his back, and a loud "crack!" filled the air.
"Don't you remember? That girl at the hardware store?" said Launchpad, trying to jog his memory.
"Oh... which one?"
"The pretty one," said Launchpad, sighing at the memory of her.
"Oh, the one with the glasses that you liked? Right... Well, the next time you're talking to your girlfriend, remember that you're my sidekick! Because of you, Megavolt got away!"
"Aw," said Launchpad, blushing, "she's not my girlfriend..."
A bit later, Megavolt was recovering on a distant rooftop, and had resigned himself to recounting his bolts. "Two-hundred and... eiiiiight.... two-hundred and niiiiiiinne.... D'oh! How can I only have come up with two-hundred and nine? I asked for two-hundred and ten bolts! That little ditz at the hardware store shortchanged me! HOW CAN I TAKE OVER THE CITY, IF I CAN'T GET THE SERVICE I NEED TO GET ONE MEASLY BOLT???!!" he yelled into the late night sky, then realized that this was a great way of letting Darkwing know where he was. "Wow, I sure wish I could take that back... Oh, well, I left that duck in need of intensive care! Let's see, what am I gonna do... I suppose I could go to another hardware store, but that's really such a waste of a day when I only need one more..." He sat, pondering his dilemma, when his attention was distracted-- admittedly not a hard thing to do-- by something on the street below.
Beth was walking home, talking to herself. "Why, Drake, this is all so sudden! Well, of course I'll marry you, my little apple pie-cake..." she was saying, and suddenly stopped. "Yeah, right, like I could ever even call him Drake," she said in a sudden burst of reality. "Ah, it's hopeless." She walked slowly, looking down at the pavement, and this was how she noticed the small metal object lying just in front of her feet. "Is that-- it is! What are the odds of finding a 4 1/4 double-plait bolt lying on the pavement in front of me like that!" she said to herself. At this, Megavolt's ears perked up and he leaned forward to get a better glimpse of her.
Excited, he started to get down off of the top of the building to follow her, but then remembered his bag of the bolts he already had and went back for them. While she was out of his sight, she reached her house-- a small, shabby-looking place just a few houses down from where Megavolt was sitting. She got out her key, and by the time Megavolt turned around again with his bag over his shoulder, she had let herself in and was gone. "What the-- she didn't just disappear, did she?! Huh, maybe she did!" he said, but set off to find her anyway.
The next day, which was a Saturday, Beth awoke early and got ready. She spent nearly an hour in the bathroom, showering and primping, and ended by brushing her teeth. Singing to herself, she exited the bathroom, and took the bolt from the bedstand where she'd left it.
"You're my link to him, little 4 1/4 double-plait bolt. Send him my love- even if he has a girlfriend already, deliver my love to him," she whispered, and then kissed it on the top. Suddenly she thought about what she had just done, and returned to the bathroom to brush her teeth again.
Later, at the house of Drake Mallard, Beth walked up the sidewalk nervously
and rang the doorbell. The door was answered by a young red-haired girl, who couldn't have been out of elementary school yet.
"Can I help you?" she said politely, although it was obvious she didn't really care and would rather have gotten back to her cartoons or video game or whatever it was that kids did these days.
Beth, confused, checked the slip of paper that the address had carefully been printed on the night before. "Um... I'm sorry, I think I must have the wrong house... This is the right address, isn't it? 537 Avian Way?" she asked, handing Gosalyn the piece of paper.
"Yeah, that's us... Did you want to see Dad?" said Gos, hoping that the woman wasn't trying to sell anything, because if she got her foot in the door now, Gos just might end up buying whatever it was, as long as it was cool. This compulsive buying habit of hers never failed to enrage her father.
"Oh-- wait, are you Launchpad's daughter?" said Beth, noticing the red hair.
Gosalyn smirked, pondering the concept of being related to Launchpad, and then gave off a little snort and shook her head. "Nope, I'm Gosalyn Mallard. You want to talk to Launchpad?"
"Uh... No... I'm sorry, I didn't realize Mr. Mallard was married," said Beth, slightly ashamed of herself, and confused as to why Launchpad hadn't told her.
"He's not," said Gos, sort of confused herself. Where'd she get that idea?
"He's not?" the conflicting feelings of relief and even greater confusion battled within Beth. "Um... Divorced, then? I'm sorry..."
"No... I don't think he's ever been married," said Gosalyn, now truly weirded out by whoever this woman was. She could still have been a salesperson with a truly bizarre approach, or she may have just been some wacko. Gosalyn prepared to slam and barricade the door.
Beth, meanwhile, got a funny look on her face after the last comment as she tried to figure everything out. "Oh... Oh."
"Oh, no-- not that," said Gos, suddenly realizing what the whole confusion was about. "No, I'm adopted."
"Ohhhhhh! Oh-- I'm so sorry! I thought... well, never mind. Uh, my name is Beth Webfoot, and I'm here to see your father," she said.
"Cool. C'mon in. He's still asleep, but I can wake him up," said Gos as Beth stepped into the house.
"Oh, no, you don't have to do that, I can just--"
"DAAAAAAAAAD!!!!" yelled Gosalyn, up the stairs.
Beth was stunned silent by her vocal capacity for a moment, and then she recovered. "Listen, you don't have to do that. It's not that important. I don't want you to have to bother him."
"Oh, it's okay," Gosalyn assured her, just as Drake called back,"WHAT, GOSALYN?"
"SOMEONE HERE TO SEE YOU!!"
"WHO?"
"I'M NOT TELLING!! YOU'LL HAVE TO COME DOWN AND FIND OUT!!"
"GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON!"
"IT'S A WOMAN-- AND SHE'S CUTE!"
There was a pause, and then Drake yelled back down, "BE DOWN IN A SECOND!"
"Won't you sit down?" said Gosalyn, turning back towards Beth.
"Thank you... Do you really think I'm cute?" she asked shyly. Suddenly there were footsteps on the stairs. Beth's heart began to pound furiously as she anticipated Drake's arrival, but was only slightly let down to discover that it wasn't him. "Hi, Launchpad!" she said cheerily. The sight of him made her feel a bit more at ease.
"Uh... Beth!" said Launchpad, who was coming down the stairs, still in his robe, to see what the commotion was all about. "...Hi!" He hadn't expected her to come by for at least another day, but mentally kicked himself for not anticipating her. Realizing that he was standing there in his robe, he began to get very self-conscious and would maybe have said something more except that he was pushed out of the way by Drake.
"Oh-- it's you," said Drake, seeing Beth sitting in his favorite chair-- and incidentally, one of the two transporter chairs that led to Darkwing Duck's headquarters.
"Hi!" she said, trying to be cheerful despite his less-than-enthusiastic welcome.
"Okay, what is it? I was asleep, you know," he said, crossing his arms and glaring first at her and then at Gosalyn for having let Beth into the house.
"Well, I mean, it's 8:15... I didn't think it was that early. Were you out late last night?" said Beth apologetically.
Before Drake had the opportunity to come up with an excuse, Launchpad cut in front of him and said, "Uh, we went...bowling. See, we're part of a bowling league, and we go out every night."
He turned to see Drake glaring at him. "Right... bowling," said Drake unenthusiastically. "Wait a minute-- how'd you get my address?" He turned again to Launchpad, who looked sheepish and shrugged.
"Well, anyway, I just came by to drop off this bolt I found last night. Free of charge, too, since I never actually had to order it!" she said, holding it out to him.
He took the bolt from her, looking it over carefully. Then he looked up at her somewhat disdainfully. "Gee, thanks. I can die happy now. Well, see ya, nice of you to stop in, sure am sorry you have to leave so soon, have a nice life!" he said, pushing her gently towards the door.
"Oh, I don't have to be going just yet," said Beth, mostly oblivious.
"'I don't have to be going yet'," he mimicked under his breath, turning away from her.
"Yes, I can stay here for another good half hour. Henny never comes to work on time," she said. She could sense, though, that he didn't want her there. His back was sort of tense, and he had his arms crossed in front of him. To pile on more proof, there was a little vein in the back of his neck that was sticking out. That was never a good sign.
Drake was in the middle of thinking hard of a way to get rid of her, when his face lost all expression, his head fell forward limply, and his whole body lost its vitality within a second. "Coffee break," he muttered tonelessly, and disappeared into the kitchen.
"I guess I better just go..." said Beth sadly, once Drake was out of earshot.
"No, stay here! I- We like havin' you here," said Launchpad, trying this best to keep her from leaving until he could think of a way to invite her to come back. He glanced at Gosalyn, who had picked up a soccer ball from the corner and was twirling it on her finger. "And Gos, you know you're not supposed to play with that in the house."
"Get crucial! I'm not gonna break anything!" said Gosalyn, and if that isn't a set-up line, we don't know what is.
"Oh, I should go... He doesn't like me," said Beth, very distinctly on the verge of tears. Launchpad's heart went out to her.
"Aw, of course he likes you," he said tenderly.
"You really think so?" she said.
Launchpad nodded. However, at that moment, Drake came out from the kitchen holding a large cup of coffee and said, "As I was saying, Ms. Webfoot, Launchpad and I have quite a few things to do today, so why don't we just see you some other time?" Beth was simultaneously elated that he had remembered her last name, and crushed to find out that her suspicions had been correct, and he didn't want her there.
The door from the kitchen swung in his wake as he came out of the kitchen, and it knocked the soccer ball from the tip of Gosalyn's finger directly toward a fragile-looking lamp on a table. Everyone gasped, and time seemed to stand still.
Moving in slow motion, Beth made a leap for the lamp and fell on the ground behind the couch, just as the lamp fell. Everything was deathly silent.
After a moment, she held her arm up just above the visiblity line of the couch, holding the lamp-- which was still intact. A huge sigh of relief washed over the spectators, and speech was once again permitted.
"Gosalyn, I've told you over and over not to play sports in the house! Oh, my favorite lamp!" said Drake, grabbing it from Beth's extended hand and holding it protectively. "Every place I move it to, you find some way to nearly destroy it!" Launchpad went around and helped Beth to her feet.
"Sorry, Dad. But I keep telling you, keeping it here is just asking for trouble!" said Gos, never one to accept a scolding.
"Well, I'm certainly not going to keep it in a storage warehouse, like you suggested!"
"Cool save, Beth!" said Gosalyn, ignoring her father.
"Oh-- thank you. I have a lot of little brothers and sisters, and in a house like that, you have to move fast," said Beth, playing off the compliment.
"It was cool!" said Launchpad, admiration evident in his voice. "Wasn't it, Drake?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess so," said Drake somewhat distractedly as he clutched his lamp.
"Hey, did you say you have a lot of brothers and sisters?" asked Launchpad, an idea forming slowly in his mind.
"Well, yeah..." said Beth.
"So... You know how to take care of kids, right?" he continued.
"Oh, definitely," she said.
Launchpad went over to Drake and said in a low voice, "Get it, DW? She could babysit for Gos!"
"No! I don't want her in my house! We barely know her!" snapped Drake. Launchpad was thankful he was whispering.
"Aw, come on, DW! She's trustworthy! She came out all this way just to give you that bolt! Besides, she seems like she'd be great with kids..."
Drake looked at Beth, who was watching Gosalyn closely as she picked up the soccer ball again. "Um, I wouldn't go through the whole thing again if I were you," she advised her. Gosalyn sighed, but she listened to Beth and put the ball down.
"Well... maybe you're right. I mean, it couldn't hurt...," said Drake. Launchpad beamed. "Say, Ms. Webfoot?"
"Yes, Mr. Mallard?" said Beth instantly. Despite her eager answer, she was expecting no more than another 'We'll see you later' dismissal.
Instead, Drake said, "Are you available to babysit in the evenings?"
"Uh?" said Beth, stunned by the resemblance this was taking to her fantasies. (Beth was the type of girl who had some really tame fantasies, as opposed to Henny, who had interesting dreams concerning Jello and Reddi-whip. When she once took the time to explain these to her coworker, Beth had gotten really flustered and embarrassed and turned a deep shade of pink.)
"WHAT?!" yelled Gosalyn at the top of her lungs. "Since when do I need a babysitter?"
Drake carried on as if she wasn't there. "You know, come in every evening to take care of Gosalyn, make sure she doesn't blow up the house, the like. Interested?" For the moment, he himself was mostly interested in getting Beth out of the house ASAP. After all, it was only 8:30 in the morning.
"Well, sure, okay!" said Beth happily.
"Great. You can just come by when you get off from work, and then leave at around midnight, after making sure she's asleep," Drake explained as Gos cried persistantly that she was too old for that sort of thing. "What time do you get off from work, anyway?"
"Well," she began. The store closed at eight, and Beth usually left at around eight-thirty. Henny left at about six- even though she could get into a lot of trouble that way- and usually got Beth to cover for her. Beth had often told the store's owners that the store needed to stay open until at least eleven o'clock, because people would come in at any time, but Henny had managed to convince them that St. Canard had no real need for an evening hardware store, so that she would be able to keep from working late. "I get off at 7:00," she lied. 8:00 would probably be okay, but she wanted desperately to be able to see Drake before he left. It was about time for Henny to start staying for her whole shift.
"Fine, then. As I was saying, you can leave after midnight, Launchpad and I should be back a little while later." In fact, it would be about 4 hours later, but Beth didn't need to know that. "So, how much do you charge?"
Gosalyn gave up and started planning her revenge on her father.
Beth smiled. "Heck, you don't have to pay me anything."
"Oh, okay. Well, that's settled, then--" said Drake, and was promptly cornered by Gosalyn and Launchpad.
"Pay her," whispered Launchpad firmly.
"Pay her a lot. She's taking care of me, you know," said Gosalyn.
"But-- but she just said--"
"That doesn't matter. Pay her," hissed Gos, and Launchpad nodded.
"Fine, fine. Ah, how's... $10 an evening sound?" he said aloud to Beth. She looked surprised.
"More," said Launchpad out of the corner of his mouth as Gosalyn elbowed him.
"I mean $20. Is that okay?!" said Drake, feeling his wallet groaning.
"Oh, that's too much! I couldn't possibly take that much!" said Beth.
"Take it. Just take it," said Drake through clenched teeth. Gos and Launchpad smiled in approval.
"Well... okay," she said. "I guess that's all I came for. You have the bolt?" she said, remembering what she was doing there in the first place.
"Oh, yeah, it's on the coffee table over there. Bye," prompted Drake.
"Bye!" said Launchpad and Gosalyn, smiling.
"Bye..." said Beth reluctantly. But as she was about to leave, the door was flung open and Megavolt stood on the front step.